Saturday, July 20, 2013




"BLUE" JIMMY:  Everybody is weighing in on the recent George Zimmerman trial/not guilty verdict and the streets are ablaze with young protestors venting their anger in all the wrong ways.  I too, find it difficult if not impossible, to believe that a loser, wannabe cop who liked to play with guns could stalk and pick a fight with an unarmed teenage boy, get b**ch slapped and then shoot him dead and not suffer any legal penalty.

BD OZZY:  Wha..?  I wish I could see any authority figure, no matter how trivial, get busted just once for crossing the line -- it almost never happens.

"BLUE" JIMMY:  But I want to take a different look at this travesty of justice.  Who are these people who have police scanners in their homes, carry guns and call 911 because your kids are playing Frisbee in the street?  They attend neighborhood watch meetings and if they are given a t-shirt or a baseball cap indicating their involvement, they wear it like a badge issued by the federal govenment then show up on your porch with a gun to tell you your carport is not up to municipal code.

BD OZZY:   There's real s**t out there.  Besides all the usual stuff, there's organized crime from war-torn countries, moving here, strutting down American streets trying to intimidate American citizens and engaging in fraud, larceny, arson, drugs, prostitution, illegal gambling, arms and human trafficking.  According to the U.S. National Center for Missing and Exploited Children, close to one million children are reported missing every year.  Then there's the victims of natural disasters who lose their homes and and all necessities and would appreciate a strong hand offering a blanket, a can of soup or bottle of water in an emergency.  Where's the George Zimmermans of the world then?  Where's the heroes  -- the tough guys?

"BLUE" JIMMY:  Amen, brother!  It ain't like the comic books, where you tie a blanket around your neck and wear your drawers on the outside and think you can be badass.  All these young men in America need to get away from the video games in their grandma's basement and learn how to contribute something in their community -- and you don't need a gun to do it. We started a free child and adult fitness program in our neighborhood with no money, no resources and no help because we cared -- "Ain't that tough enough?" (From the song,"Tough Enough" by the Fabulous Thunderbirds).  But what I really don't want to see is Zimmerman being rewarded by our celebrity-ruled society where anyone can succeed in life just by being a d**kThings I better not see Zimmerman do in the coming months:
  •  Publish a best-selling autobiography where he portrays himself as a misunderstood anti-crime crusader (with a title like "Shot in the Dark").
  •  Star in a reality TV series kicking in doors in inner-city neighborhoods conducting staged raids on drug dealers.
  • Promote a fragrance with a name like "Locked &  Loaded".
  • Appear on Letterman, coming onstage and pointing his fingers at the audience in mock six-gun fashion and going "Pow !  Pow!"   (Sample conversation -- Letterman:  "Hey, George!  Shoot anybody lately?"  Zimmerman:  "C'mon Dave, I'd rather talk about my new book and speaking tour."
BD OZZY:  I swear, if he does any of those things, I'll push him in front of a bus!
"BLUE" JIMMY:  Sake's Alive!
BD OZZY:  Wow!  Wow!

Wednesday, February 27, 2013




"BLUE" JIMMY:  OK, I was waiting for this whole Christopher Dorner episode to be over before I made any comment about it. When Dorner made his last stand in a mountain cabin this month, the mainstream media portrayed him as a disgruntled nutcase who couldn't handle being unjustly fired from the LAPD.  There's no doubt he went off the deep end and got his revenge the wrong way and killed some innocent people.  A few years from now, I would have loved to see Cuba Gooding, Jr. portray him in an Oscar-winning movie where he goes into court with a sharp, wisecracking legal team and forces the the Chief of Police to resign with irrefutable evidence and heartfelt testimony.

BD OZZY:  Instead, you're going to see him portrayed in a low-budget flick by a bug-eyed Samuel L. Jackson using a lot of cuss words and blowing s**t up!

"BLUE" JIMMY:  And it's a shame, because in the online rant that the media is now referring to as his manifesto, he makes many well-thought points about misconduct and abuses in the LAPD. This is more significant than most people think.  Years ago, hardened criminals started making some disturbing claims against the police, alleging indiscriminate ass-kickings and corruption.  Many didn't take their allegations seriously though because they were, well, criminals who lacked credibility due to their backgrounds.  Then organizations like the American Civil Liberties Union started filing lawsuits on behalf of people who were alleging brutality and violation of civil rights.  Now, you have an insider making the same kind of allegations and going into great detail that only a witness would know.  Dorner is the equivalent of a corporate whistleblower who unfortunately for him and for us, did not have the patience to tell his story to a Woodward and Bernstein who could have told his story and blown the cover off all this corruption.

BD OZZY:  Judging by all his online followers, some people consider him something of a hero although when it comes right down to it, he'll never really be remembered that way.

"BLUE" JIMMY:  No brother, a real hero wouldn't have killed people at random, he would have gone after the jobs of people right at the top starting with the Chief and then the Mayor.

BD OZZY:  So how does his biopic end?

"BLUE" JIMMY:  I'm reminded of that scene in the movie, "Billy Jack" where he runs the crooked cops off of Indian land with a mean looking rifle and says, "when police break the law, then there is no law."

BD OZZY:  No S**T!

"BLUE" JIMMY:  Sake's Alive!

BD OZZY:  Wow!  Wow!

Tuesday, January 29, 2013




"BLUE" JIMMY:  The recent fake girlfriend scandal involving Notre Dame football star Manti Te'o has seemed to have caught the popular imagination.

BD OZZY:  Mostly because it's a perfect example of catfishing, a term inspired by the 2010 film "Catfish" which documents a young man being hoodwinked by a bored, frumpy homemaker who misrepresents herself online.

"BLUE" JIMMY:  Like a blind Chihuahua who talks and writes a blog.

BD OZZY:  Bite me!

"BLUE"  JIMMY:  So many questions remained unanswered in this incident such as who exactly, was involved, why didn't Te'o come clean earlier and did this incident propel Te'o to be a runner up for the Heisman Trophy.

BD OZZY:  But the biggest question of all is how the hell  do you fall in love and consider someone your girlfriend when you've never met them in person?

"BLUE" JIMMY:  I don't even take on a car insurance dude unless I meet them in person.  I think that technology, especially social networking, is creating a serious disconnect between humans which any anthropologist will tell you, are social beings that thrive on close personal contact.

BD OZZY:  We were warned of this back in the 70's by Alvin Toffler in his book "Future Shock" which predicted that technology would advance so quickly that it would cause us psychological as well as physiological harm because of our inability to keep up with it.   He called this information overload.

"BLUE" JIMMY:  Dude!  That's right.  Think about it.  people use an ATM instead of asking a teller for money, they swipe their credit or debit card at the gas station instead of asking the attendant for gas, ( some folks don't even remember gas stations that had attendants) they do their shopping on their computer and have everything delivered to their door instead of going to an actual store, they let their GPS drive their car and they carry on conversations with their smart phones.  It's no wonder people of Teo's generation think they can have an online soul mate.  

BD OZZY:  It also seems people are looking outside of themselves for happiness instead of within.

"BLUE" JIMMY:  Brother, you been reading my "Zen for Dummies" book again.  The real trip about people in these situations is when they find out who they really been talkin' to online.  Young girls with a crush find out they've been talking to some old pervert, housewives find out they've been the victim of some geeky computer nerd living in their grandma's basement and  lonely guys looking for love find out they been talking to some guy altering their voice on the phone.

BD OZZY:  (singing) "...looking for love in all the wrong places..."

"BLUE" JIMMY:  I hate that song.  But that reminds me, if there's any fine mamas out there looking for a date, down below is an updated photo of me an' Ozzy.

BD OZZY:  Yeah, right!  my d*** is bigger than that whole dog!

"BLUE" JIMMY:  Sake's Alive!

BD OZZY:  Wow!  Wow!