MAKING YOU FEEL IMPORTANT: THE 2012 PRESIDENTIAL ELECTION

"BLUE" JIMMY:  POLITICAL ANALYST

BLIND DOG OZZY:  NEUROTIC CHIHUAHUA

"BLUE" JIMMY:  The 2012 Presidential Election has come and gone and Barack Obama remains President of The United States of America for another term.  It all seems like such a big show for nothing; or maybe just to make Americans feel important for another four years.  Personally, I don't believe that American voters actually get to elect the person with the most powerful office on the planet.

BD OZZY:  The Presidential Election is always fertile ground for conspiracy theories.  Some say the office of President is determined by the Bilderberg Group or The Freemasons or The Jesuits or even a network of satanic cults!

"BLUE" JIMMY:  And you only got to go back several years to the 2000 Presidential Election to know that something ain't quite right with Presidential elections.  George W Bush was "awarded" the office of President even though he did not win the popular vote and there was a discrepancy with the vote count in the state of Florida.

BD OZZY:  I should run for President!

"BLUE" JIMMY:  That brings up a good point.  The democratic voting process in this country was designed so that anyone who met the qualifications could be elected to the office of President whether it was the local school teacher or the guy who ran the corner store or any trusted person in the community.

BD OZZY:  Now people go to a university, study political science and when they graduate, they  make a career out of politics.  And now we have a two party political system where any candidate from an alternate political party runs only symbolically or as a novelty (in 1968 a pig named Pigasus was endorsed by the Yippie movement).

"BLUE" JIMMY:  When Barack Obama was elected in 2008, he made history by being the first black man to be elected as President.  If Mitt Romney had been elected this year, he would have made history as the first Mormon to be elected President.  I'll Tell you what should make history -- if someone other than a Democrat or Republican were to get elected President.

BD OZZY:  Tun Tun Tun! 

"BLUE" JIMMY:  Suffice it to say that the office of President of the United 
States of America is determined by extremely wealthy, powerful people for whom the President is merely a figurehead.  They would never allow the President to be elected by a public that can have its vote so easily swayed by tabloid newspapers, "reality"
TV shows or internet ramblings like the one you're reading now.

BD OZZY:  And we haven't even got to the subject of the manipulation of electronic voting machines yet.

"BLUE" JIMMY:  That's a whole 'nother article!

BD OZZY:  Oh, S**t!  check out my beautiful American Flag photo -- I took it!

"BLUE" JIMMY:  Sake's Alive!

BD OZZY:  Wow!  Wow!

911 WAYS TO DIE: WILL THE REAL TERRORISTS PLEASE STAND UP?

"BLUE" JIMMY:  AWARD-WINNING JOURNALIST

BLIND DOG OZZY:  NEUROTIC CHIHUAHUA

"BLUE"JIMMY:  This week, many people commemorated the 911 attacks which seem to have changed our country in ways I had never imagined in my lifetime.


BD OZZY:  The attacks on the Twin Towers and The Pentagon have been used to justify everything from starting  two wars in remote parts of the world to having ham-fisted strangers putting their hands down your children's pants at airports.

"BLUE" JIMMY:  Conspiracy theories have flown fast and furious and without attaching myself to any one of those, I can smell a rat as well as anyone.

BD OZZY:  More disturbing than the loss of lives and destruction that occurred on that fateful day, is the enactment of the USA PATRIOT Act in 2001 which has tentacles that reach deep and deadly into our way of life as Americans.

"BLUE" JIMMY:  Dude!   Passed without much fanfare by George W Bush in October 2001, The Patriot Act allows our government to bypass every civil liberty our ancestors have bravely fought for throughout our history and turn any citizen into a possible terrorist.  Before you go thinking that this act was written just to punish wild-eyed, foreign religious fanatics with homemade bombs strapped to their bodies, look it up for yourself and see the actual provisions of this act.  An American citizen can be suspected not convicted of terrorist activity and the government will have the right to detain that person without a writ of habeas corpus and imprison them indefitely without the right to an attorney, without the right to a speedy trial by a jury of their peers and without the right to face their accuser in court.  What this means is that you or I can disappear for suspected terrorist activity, be put away in an undisclosed location and your family will be told that your whereabouts are none of their business and your imprisonment is a matter of national security.

BD OZZY:  Is this The United States of America?

"BLUE" JIMMY It's been more than a decade since the 911 attacks and no part of the Patriot Act has been repealed or mitigated in any way.  You have to ask yourself, who has taken away more of your freedoms as an American citizen -- crazed terrorists or your own government?

BD OZZY:  !!!

"BLUE" JIMMY:  I hate to be a prophet of doom so I have to say that if Americans are Americans, they will realize that the civil liberties that they have fought long and hard for in the courtrooms and the battlefield are in jeopardy and there will soon be a backlash against this slow, sneaky, formation of a Police State.

BD OZZY: Live Free Or Die hermano!

"BLUE" JIMMY:  Sake's Alive!

BD OZZY:  Wow! Wow!

ASSANGE INCITES PUSSY RIOT! FREEDOM OF THE PRESS/SPEECH TAKES IT ON THE CHIN

"BLUE" JIMMY:  FREE SPEECH CRUSADER

BLIND DOG OZZY:  NEUROTIC CHIHUAHUA

"BLUE" JIMMY:  Two incidents in the news this week should convince us all that we got a long way to go in the fight for freedom of the press/speech.  First, Julian Assange, jounalism's whipping boy, who has been holed up in the Ecuadoran Embassy in England since June of this year, is being persecuted by the country of Sweden for alleged sexual assault and the United States for possible treason.  Some US politicians have openly called for his assassination while others abroad have called for him to be nominated for a Nobel Prize.  The United States has said that it does not recognize the concept of diplomatic asylum that is being offered by Ecuador to the WikiLeaks editor-in-chief who has famously given an outlet to whistle blowers all around the world.

BD OZZY:  The interesting thing to note here is that it is the lowly country of Ecuador that is offering asylum.  Ecuador; a country that has only been a democracy since 1979 and has had its own struggles with civil rights in recent decades.  Where are the heavy-hitters?  None of the big democracies have stepped forward in outrage.  Obviously, they're afraid to offend and strain diplomatic ties with The United States.

"BLUE" JIMMY:  Like Sweden, which is always ranked above The United States in civil liberties; they had dropped the case against Assange only to pick it up again and pursue it more aggressively, probably to try and turn Assange over to The United States.  Due to the international nature of the internet, another citizen's free press/speech problem is also our problem.    Whatever happens to Assange, he's being abandoned by most of the so-called Free World.

BD OZZY:  Speaking of freedom, a Russian court has denied freedom to the girl punk band Pussy Riot and sentenced three members to two years in prison for performing a protest song in a church.  The only reason I bring this up is because I just like to say their name -- Pussy Riot! Pussy Riot!

"BLUE" JIMMY:  Their protest was to condemn the close ties between President Vladimir Putin and the Russian Orthodox Church.  Their harsh sentence is seen as a move by Putin to suppress any opposition to him.  What's ironic about this is that when Julian Assange was detained by the British authorities, then Prime Minister Putin spoke out and called it "undemocratic."

BD OZZY:  What is the old saying?  "Sh**tting in the yard is fine as long as it's someone else's yard."

"BLUE"JIMMY:  That's not an old saying.

BD OZZY:  I think it is.

"BLUE" JIMMY:  No it isn't.  But from a sheer musical standpoint, Pussy Riot's protest should go down in history as the ultimate act of pure Rock 'N' Roll guerrilla warfare.  Other, more popular politically conscious groups like Bob Dylan, U2, The Clash and even skinhead bands have never matched this declaration of "Up Yours!"  

BD OZZY:  I guess it took a woman's touch!

"BLUE" JIMMY:  Sake's Alive!

BD OZZY:  Wow!  Wow!

.

THE DARK NIGHT

"BLUE" JIMMY:  JOURNALIST

BLIND DOG OZZY: NEUROTIC CHIHUAHUA

BD OZZY:  I guess no one is savoring the irony of the fact that at the premiere of the biggest superhero movie of the year, a crazed villain is the one who stole the show.  The basic story is that a disturbed  a**wipe (who will remain nameless because I am not in the business of doing PR for disturbed a**wipes) went into a movie theater in Aurora, Colorado early Friday  with tear gas and guns and shot up the place worse than the s*** that was taking place onscreen. 

"BLUE" JIMMY:  Many killed, many wounded and friends, neighbors and family are saying, "I can't believe it -- he was such a nice kid!"  There will be an outcry for more security at movie theaters and other public places and the authorities will say that they can do it, but most of your civil rights will have to be eliminated in the process (problem/reaction/solution).

BD OZZY:  Thanks to this waste of a zygote, in the near future, you won't be able to walk into a movie theatre without having all your kids fondled by a bald-headed security goon along with a retina scan and colon scraping.


"BLUE" JIMMY:  Politicians will then call for gun control, parents groups will call for less violent movies and video games and church groups will cite this incident as a sign that The End is near.  


BD OZZY:  They will scrutinize every area of his life looking for answers but his privileged upbringing and good education will offer no clues to this terrible crime.

"BLUE" JIMMY:  The one place the authorities and the media will overlook though, is his medicine cabinet.  I could be wrong (and I'll admit it if I am) but I'd be willing to wager all my valuables that this scrambled egg was either taking or being withdrawn from some kind of psychiatric prescription medicine.  Almost every single incident from the Columbine High School Massacre to the Virginia Tech Massacre to the recent spate of violence, suicide and murder carried out by Iraq and Afghanistan war veterans can be traced to fruit loops taking powerful pharmaceuticals with severe and deadly side-effects.


BD OZZY:  A nation of zombies is being created much like the characters in Ray Bradbury's "Fahrenheit 451" in which people were encouraged to pacify themselves with technology, take their medications and avoid critical thinking at all costs.

"BLUE" JIMMY:  You know who my best superhero would be?  Not a guy with weapons and a cape and a mask but a guy with thick spectacles and a stack of research and an inquisitive and analytical mind who could blow the lid off all of this and break people free from their mental prisons.


BD OZZY:  I would pay to see that guy!


"BLUE" JIMMY:  Sakes Alive!


BD OZZY: Wow! Wow!