Saturday, July 21, 2012




BD OZZY:  I guess no one is savoring the irony of the fact that at the premiere of the biggest superhero movie of the year, a crazed villain is the one who stole the show.  The basic story is that a disturbed  a**wipe (who will remain nameless because I am not in the business of doing PR for disturbed a**wipes) went into a movie theater in Aurora, Colorado early Friday  with tear gas and guns and shot up the place worse than the s*** that was taking place onscreen. 

"BLUE" JIMMY:  Many killed, many wounded and friends, neighbors and family are saying, "I can't believe it -- he was such a nice kid!"  There will be an outcry for more security at movie theaters and other public places and the authorities will say that they can do it, but most of your civil rights will have to be eliminated in the process (problem/reaction/solution).

BD OZZY:  Thanks to this waste of a zygote, in the near future, you won't be able to walk into a movie theatre without having all your kids fondled by a bald-headed security goon along with a retina scan and colon scraping.

"BLUE" JIMMY:  Politicians will then call for gun control, parents groups will call for less violent movies and video games and church groups will cite this incident as a sign that The End is near.  

BD OZZY:  They will scrutinize every area of his life looking for answers but his privileged upbringing and good education will offer no clues to this terrible crime.

"BLUE" JIMMY:  The one place the authorities and the media will overlook though, is his medicine cabinet.  I could be wrong (and I'll admit it if I am) but I'd be willing to wager all my valuables that this scrambled egg was either taking or being withdrawn from some kind of psychiatric prescription medicine.  Almost every single incident from the Columbine High School Massacre to the Virginia Tech Massacre to the recent spate of violence, suicide and murder carried out by Iraq and Afghanistan war veterans can be traced to fruit loops taking powerful pharmaceuticals with severe and deadly side-effects.

BD OZZY:  A nation of zombies is being created much like the characters in Ray Bradbury's "Fahrenheit 451" in which people were encouraged to pacify themselves with technology, take their medications and avoid critical thinking at all costs.

"BLUE" JIMMY:  You know who my best superhero would be?  Not a guy with weapons and a cape and a mask but a guy with thick spectacles and a stack of research and an inquisitive and analytical mind who could blow the lid off all of this and break people free from their mental prisons.

BD OZZY:  I would pay to see that guy!

"BLUE" JIMMY:  Sakes Alive!

BD OZZY: Wow! Wow!

No comments:

Post a Comment