Friday, December 2, 2016

PRESIDENT DONALD TRUMP: WE COULDA DONE WORSE ...

"BLUE" JIMMY:  POLITICAL PUNDIT

BLIND DOG OZZY:  NEUROTIC CHIHUAHUA

"BLUE" JIMMY:  Back in the month of May, when there was still a handful of presidential hopefuls left in the 2016 Presidential Election, I made a bold prediction and said that while I would not vote for her, Hillary Clinton would take the Presidency based on her political and family connections and the importance of her being the first woman President Of The United States Of America ... I was wrong!  

BLIND DOG OZZY:  WTF!!! 

"BLUE" JIMMY:  I based this prediction on the fact that while having a wealthy father and grandfather, Donald Trump does not come from generations of wealth, power and royalty like the Rothschild, Windsor, Rockefeller, Getty, Kennedy, Bush AND Clinton families.  Yes, despite the fact that Bill Clinton was considered by many to be somewhat of a philandering redneck, he was actually very educated and came from a long line of royalty and Big Money.  

BLIND DOG OZZY:  "It ain't immoral if it's only oral."  ( B. Clinton).

"BLUE" JIMMY:  Apparently, Donald Trump was more entrenched in the American political system than I ever imagined and the result is ...

BLIND DOG OZZY:  ... Your children and your children's children will now have to learn about this media clown in American History class!!!

"BLUE" JIMMY:  But we coulda done worse!  History is full of psychotic leaders who ended up in office due to opportune circumstances and were not exactly um, ...  public favorites.

BLIND DOG OZZY:  The following is a reckless and random list of historical leaders who were not the full picnic, as British people say: 


  • Empress Wu Zetian, empress of China from 690 to 705 AD.  She had thousands of people who gained her disfavor burned, boiled, strangled, poisoned, or mutilated on a daily basis, including members of her own family.  You could say like many modern politicians, she didn't like "opposition."
  • Caligula.  He was Rome's third emperor from 37 to 41 AD.  He was mentally ill and thought himself a god which caused him to commit countless acts of sexual depravity even with members of his own family, kill hundreds of thousands of animals and people just for his own sadistic enjoyment and ordered people to watch the strangulation and decapitation of their own children.  Amazingly, he was finally assassinated in 41 AD not for the horrible atrocities he committed against his people but for political reasons ... ah, politics!
  • Godfrey Of Bouillon.  He was a Frankish knight who was one of the leaders of the First Crusade.  Believing that the Jews were responsible for the crucifixion of Jesus and that Muslims were practicing a heathen religion, he arrived in Jerusalem in 1099 AD and slaughtered any of both faiths who occupied the city in the hundreds of thousands  -- men, women and children!  Donald Trump would have probably made him Secretary Of Defense.
  • Vlad Tepes.  The man who was the inspiration for the Count Dracula myth, was Prince Of Wallachia in the 1400's who in his battles against the Ottomans, was known to make his enemies "get the point."  He executed tens of thousands of people by facial and rectal impalement (you don't want to know) but was also amused by skinning, boiling, strangling, stabbing, roasting and burying alive.  He often dined and drank among the bodies of his victims.  He was also not a fan of the poor and sick.  He once invited the poor and sick of the town of Targoviste to a banquet during which he had the hall sealed and burned to the ground with all the occupants inside.  Donald Trump would have admired his social reform methods.
  • Tamerlane The Great.  He was the founder of the Timurid Empire who conquered and terrorized Western, Central and South Asia in the fourteenth century.  He had literally, MILLIONS of people burned, beheaded, stabbed and suffocated.  One of  his favorite methods of execution was to force people to jump to their deaths from great heights.  He had massive towers built from the skulls of the dead just for him to get a hard-on to  ... nice!
  • King John Of England.  To cut through all the myth and legend from the Tales Of Robin Hood,  from 1099 to 1216, he basically stole from his countrymen, stole from The Church and raped, tortured or executed anyone who had the nerve to criticize his harsh measures, such as raising taxes by 300%, forcing  most of the country into poverty ... sound like any politicians you know?
  • Pol Pot.  He was a Cambodian dictator who led the communist Khmer Rouge and from 1975 to 1979 was largely responsible for the Cambodian Genocide in which roughly, 25% of the Cambodian people were killed due to forced relocation from urban to rural areas in which they suffered disease, starvation, execution and death due to forced labor.  Kind of disturbing when Donald Trump says he wants to "put people to work" building a wall!
  •    Attila The Hun.  Ruler of the Huns who short of actually sacking Rome and Constantinople were nevertheless, responsible for f**king up a good part of the Roman Empire from 434 to 453 A.D.  Attila, who was known as "The Scourge Of God " didn't just conquer lands and cities, he and his army reduced them to piles of smoldering ash and broken stones with their populations raped, robbed, tortured and mutilated (oh, and killed, of course).  In myth, it is said that "grass never grew again where his horse had trod."  You might say he had um, "anger issues."
  • Genghis Khan.  Ruler of the Mongolian Empire from 1206 to 1227 in which he conquered most of China and terrorized the Persian Plateau.  Modern estimates conclude that the Mongols exterminated about 5% of the world's population or more than 37 million men, women and children.  Let's put it this way, The Armenian Genocide, Cambodian Genocide and Jewish Holocaust combined, did not kill as many people as Genghis Khan!  I guess you could say he was not a "people person."
  • Adolph Hitler.  Many people don't know that in addition to all the ethnic Jews that Hitler was responsible for killing in his hellish concentration camps, there were also multitudes of  Russians, Poles, Ukrainians, Serbians, Gypsies, Catholics, Jehovah's Witnesses, Spanish Republicans, communists, trade unionists, anarchists, Freemasons, homosexuals and disabled people who were considered unworthy and died from execution, bizarre pseudo-medical experimentation or just the sheer, harsh conditions of the camps.  The most horrifying thing about Hitler though, was not just the camps but that he convinced most of the population of Germany that he was RIGHT!  Expertly using the media which at the time, included:  books; pamphlets; film; the new technology of radio and also bombastic rallies with Heavy Metal-style light shows, he fired up and mesmerized the German public and was incredibly popular.  He also promised to rid the country of foreigners and other undesirables, create jobs, stimulate the economy and make the country "great again."  Why does that sound familiar?
BLIND DOG OZZY:  History repeats itself!!!


"BLUE" JIMMY:  Sake's Alive!

BLIND DOG OZZY:  Wow!  Wow!
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